Picture this: You and your partner have been living together for years. You split the mortgage, share a Netflix account, and your neighbors assume you’re married. You call each other “husband” and “wife” sometimes, mostly as a joke. You file taxes separately because, well, you’re not actually married.
Except in Colorado, you might be.
Welcome to the wonderful world of common law marriage, where the state can decide you’re legally wed based on how you’ve been acting, not whether you’ve walked down an aisle. And yes, I’m about to do that classic lawyer thing where I tell you everything you think you know is wrong. But stick with me—this actually matters more than you might think, especially when it comes to your estate planning, financial decisions, and that life insurance policy gathering dust in your filing cabinet.
Colorado is one of only a handful of states that still recognizes common law marriage, and there doesn’t seem to be any desire to eliminate it. Even though we don’t practice family law, this topic comes up quite often in all sorts of legal situations. For instance, we’ve intentionally married more than one couple by filing a joint bankruptcy petition for them—it saves time and money on the attorney and filing fees. Nothing says “till death do us part” quite like Chapter 7 proceedings.
Frequently Asked Questions About Colorado Common Law Marriage
“Do we become common-law married after living together for 7 years?”
This is the big myth, and it’s completely false. There’s no magic number of years that automatically transforms your living situation into a marriage. You could live together for 20 years and never be common-law married, or you could be married after 20 days if you meet the actual requirements.
The “seven-year rule” is legal folklore that refuses to die, probably because it sounds official enough to be believable. But Colorado law doesn’t care how long you’ve been together—it cares about what you’ve been doing during that time.
“So how DO you get common-law married in Colorado?”
Here’s where it gets interesting (and subjective). Colorado courts look at whether you’ve mutually agreed to be married and whether you’ve “held yourselves out” as married to the community. Recent court decisions have updated this language to be gender-neutral, but the core test remains the same. It’s less like checking boxes on a form and more like convincing a judge that you’ve been acting like a married couple.
The factors courts consider include:
• Whether you’ve called each other “husband” and “wife”
• How you’ve introduced yourselves to others
• Whether you’ve filed joint tax returns
• Joint bank accounts and shared financial responsibilities
• Joint credit cards or loans
• Whether you’ve used the same last name
• How your friends and family view your relationship
• Joint ownership of property
• Joint insurance policies
• Estate planning documents that describe each other as spouses
The estate planning piece is particularly interesting—when we help clients create wills, trusts, and other estate documents, we include a recitation of family relationships. This creates a clear record of how the couple viewed their relationship as of the date they signed their documents.
Notice how many of these involve money? That’s not an accident. Courts often look to financial entanglement as evidence of a marital mindset.
“Wait, could we be married right now and not know it?”
This is where the “gotcha” factor comes in, and honestly, it’s possible. If you’ve been acting married and telling people you’re married (even casually), Colorado courts might agree with you—whether you meant it or not.
I’ve seen couples surprised to learn they were common-law married when they tried to buy a house, applied for benefits, or yes, filed for bankruptcy protection. Joint financial decisions often serve as the smoking gun that convinces courts a marriage exists.
The tricky part is that intent matters, but so does perception. You might think you’re just being practical by sharing expenses and accounts, while the legal system sees evidence of a marital relationship.
“If we’re common-law married in Colorado, are we married everywhere?”
Generally, yes. The Full Faith and Credit Clause of the Constitution requires other states to recognize marriages that are valid where they were created. So if you’re common-law married in Colorado and move to a state that doesn’t recognize common-law marriage, you’re still married there.
However, this gets complicated if you’re trying to prove your marriage exists. Some states might require more documentation than others, and you could find yourself needing to establish your Colorado common law marriage in a state that’s never heard of such a thing.
This is particularly important for inheritance rights, medical decision-making, and yes, life insurance beneficiaries when you’re dealing with institutions in other states.
“How do we prove we’re NOT common-law married?”
Prevention is easier than cure here. If you want to live together without the legal entanglements of marriage, be intentional about it:
• Don’t file joint tax returns
• Keep separate bank accounts for major expenses
• Avoid calling each other “husband” and “wife,” even jokingly
• Don’t use the same last name
• Consider a cohabitation agreement that explicitly states you’re not married
• Be clear with friends, family, and service providers about your unmarried status
Think of it as defensive dating—you’re protecting yourself from accidental legal commitments.
“What if we want to end a common-law marriage?”
While it’s real easy to get into a common-law marriage, it’s no so easy to get out of one. You can’t just break up. You need an actual divorce, complete with property division, potential spousal support, and all the legal machinery that comes with ending a formal marriage. There’s no such thing as common-law divorce.
This often comes as an unpleasant surprise to couples who thought they could simply move out and move on. The same legal standards that apply to traditional marriages apply to common law marriages when it comes to dissolution.
There’s also a creditor issue worth mentioning. Colorado recognizes something called the “family purpose doctrine,” which can make one spouse liable for debts incurred by the other spouse for family purposes—even if they never knew about the debt. We see this most commonly with medical debt, where one spouse can find themselves responsible for their partner’s hospital bills despite never signing anything or even knowing about the treatment.
“Should we just get officially married instead?”
That depends on your goals and circumstances, but let’s be clear about one thing: marriage is like a light switch (the old-school on/off kind). You’re either married or you’re not. I’ve had more than one client say something like, “We’re married, but only common-law married,” which is like saying you’re “only a little bit pregnant.”
A formal marriage ceremony creates clear documentation and removes any ambiguity about your marital status. It also makes it much easier to prove your marriage exists when dealing with banks, insurance companies, and government agencies.
But here’s the thing—whether you’re formally married, common-law married, or committed but unmarried, you need an estate plan that reflects your actual relationship and financial situation. Your relationship status affects everything from inheritance rights to tax planning to beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance policies. Check out our articles on the spouse’s elective share and the augmented estate for some real life examples.
Your Action Items
If this article has you questioning your marital status or thinking about your planning, here’s what you need to do:
Immediate Steps:
• Determine your actual marital status (if you’re unsure, talk to an attorney)
• Review all insurance policies, retirement accounts, and bank accounts for beneficiary designations
• Check how you’ve been filing taxes and whether that aligns with your intended marital status
Talk to Your Advisors:
• Contact your financial advisor about how your marital status affects your investment and retirement planning
• Reach out to your insurance agent to discuss life insurance needs and beneficiary arrangements
• Schedule a consultation with an estate planning attorney to ensure your plan reflects your actual relationship and goals
• If you have significant assets or business interests, coordinate with your tax advisor about the implications
Document Everything:
• If you want to remain unmarried, create a cohabitation agreement
• If you discover you’re common-law married, make sure all your legal and financial documents reflect that status
• Update emergency contacts, medical directives, and powers of attorney accordingly
Colorado’s common law marriage rules create unique planning opportunities and pitfalls. Whether you’re accidentally married, intentionally single, or somewhere in between, you need advisors who understand how these relationships affect your legal and financial life. Don’t let uncertainty about your marital status derail your planning—get the clarity you need to make informed decisions about your future.
This article is a service of The Law Offices of Owen Hathaway, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session.
The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.
